Missing my mommy

Driving home from Liam's swimming lesson a bit ago and a U2 song came on. U2 always reminds me of my mom. They were one of her top favorite bands of all time. For one of her birthdays we surprised her with getting a box at the staples center and a ton of us joined her for an awesome U2 concert. She was also able to see them in Vegas shortly after that. Anyhow, hearing them always makes me think of her and miss her.

It's incredible how a song can trigger so much emotion and leave me practically crying in my car on our drive from the aquatics center. I miss her so much. Being pregnant also reminds me a lot of how I don't have her here. I ache to be able to tell her how I'm having another boy and to show her my US pictures. I want to tell her all about Liam and all the new things he's constantly learning to do. She's missing so much. I also want to call her when I'm upset about something and hug her just for the sake of hugging her. I want to tell her how much I love her and miss her. I want to hear her tell me how beautiful my giant bushy eyebrows are. I want to touch her arm, her skin was always so soft.

I've never been a jealous person, but this is one subject that I can get jealous and resentful over. I really try not to, but I genuinely resent people who are so much older than me who still have their parents around. I just can't help but think how unfair it is.

Anyhow, I really really just miss my mommy and I still harbor the wish that I'll wake up one day only to find that this was all a bad dream.

Camping!

So we took Liam on his first camping trip this week. It was so much fun. We drove down to San Clemente State Beach on Monday during his nap time (noon) and got there in an hour (woo hoo!).

I had thought about how sandy he would get and what we'd do about that...but I forgot about the inevitable dirt that is at all camp sites. Liam loved it and was completely covered in dirt instantaneously. We had a great first day. He slept on the way there, then we set up camp while he played in the dirt and checked the camp site out. Then we headed down to the beach in the later afternoon. Liam has always loved the beach, so he had a blast playing in the sand and water. So cute!


We came back for dinner and built a big fire. Chris got this thingy for making sparks so he could start fires the old fashioned way...so it took a while because he stubbornly insisted on starting it without matches or a lighter. Then we made some yummy hamburgers and played more in the dirt waiting for the sun to go down. It was almost down and we decided to go shower Liam off and get him ready for bed. I guess we went at the worst possible time because the lights hadn't come on yet but it was too dark to really see. So we took a family shower in the dark to get the bean somewhat washed off. Then it was off to bed for him.


Since this was the first time we'd camped with Liam we didn't realize that really our tent was too small for the three of us. So Liam and I took the tent while Chris took his sleeping bag and pad to sleep under the stars. We went to bed pretty early because we're old, I guess, around 9:45. I was out like a light. UNTIL 10pm or so, when some late arrivers came and decided to very loudly set up camp right across from us. The girl with them had one of those loud piercing voices so that it sounds like she's standing right in front of you when she's really far away. Liam somehow slept through it but Chris and I were ready to kill them. Finally they decided to go to sleep around 2:30 or so and we were able to go to bed...until our camp was attacked by a ton of skunks.

It would have been nice for the camp site people to warn us to not leave any food out anywhere, including the trash...I woke up to what I thought was Chris pacing in circles around in the tent. It woke up Liam too. I ripped the tent door open to ask him what the hell he was doing, only to find a butt ton of skunks all over the place, one hanging out the door and Chris frantically waving at me to not freak them out.

Anyhow, they were still there around 4:30 when I had to navigate around them to go pee. It was lovely.

On Tuesday we had a perfect day. We had pancakes for breakfast and Liam played with his shovel and bucket in the dirt, then we took a drive at his nap time, he fell asleep and we came back to camp and ate lunch while he slept. He woke up and we fed him and headed down to the beach. We spent the whole afternoon till dinner time playing at the beach. And then we came back and had a super yummy dinner of fire roasted corn on the cob, brats and hot dogs. Liam went out and Chris and I chatted in front of the fire till we went to bed. We drifted off to sleep to the sound of some other campers with bongo drums, an excellent singer and guitarist. We all slept like rocks till the morning.


We came back today and I was very happy to shower and get clean! But it was a blast! I can't wait till we can take the bean camping again. Unfortunately it might not be for some time since the baby is due soon and I don't think I'll be wanting to go with the two of them for awhile...


Aren't you proud of me for posting in less than 2 months since my last post!?!

10 years later

Ok, so I suck at keeping up with posts.

I'm now 28 weeks pregnant! I can't believe how fast it's gone by. I feel pretty good. I have back issues, the same ones I had when I was pregs with Liam, I can't sleep too well and I'm super tired. Those are pretty much my only issues right now. Yay! *knocking on wood*

A lot has changed even since my last post. We had our US to find out what we were having and it was as clear as day, it's a little boy! I was pretty bummed that day because I really had my heart set on a little girl and I really felt like that was what I was having. I was soooo looking forward to all the cute girly clothes and cloth diapers and everything else that comes with having sugar and spice. I gave myself one day to have a little pity party and then I got over it. I can say now that I am super excited to have another little boy. I really have so much fun with Liam and I think he's going to love having a little brother.

The baby is kicking a ton and I already feel like I know him. He feels so different from Liam. I don't know how to describe it, but he just feels like he has a completely different personality. I can't wait for him to be born so I can see what he is like.

The appointment with my OB where we did our US was the last one. We decided to switch to a midwife and have a home birth. Our midwife is great! Her name is Margo Kennedy. I really really liked her when I was pregs with Liam but she was all booked up. I'm so glad I was able to snag her for this baby.

I'm getting excited planning and figuring out what I need for the birth. I went on freecycle and asked for old dingy king sized sheets and old towels and I got a ton. So I'm all set in that department. I'll be set for life with rags after this birth! I've already decided what tub I'm going to rent and we have the tarp we need for it. I was supposed to stop by at the midwife's office yesterday to pick up some red raspberry leaf and the list of birth supplies I need. I completely forgot. Arg. I'll just have to get it next week at my appt.

My next appt is when I do my glucose test. I'm a little worried about it, but at least my midwife does it in such a way that's not pure torture. All I have to do is eat a normal meal and then she'll take my blood two hours later. Not too bad at all! No nasty syrupy drink, no fasting! Woo hoo!

I'm having so much fun with Liam these days. He's growing up so fast. He understands everything we say and responds with his own little words. Some of them come out right, like "car" "truck" "tag" etc. But then there are words, like "ball" that come out weird. His "ball" is "gar" No idea why. He's a little trouble maker and is getting really good at throwing tantrums. But it's amazing how an hour after he throws a horrible tantrum in the middle of the grocery store I find myself telling him how he's been such a good boy all day...duh...because he's been a super sweetie pie for 5 minutes. I just forget about all the other stuff when he's like that. He has the sweetest smile. And he's so snugglie still.

On Thursday we were at the farmer's market getting dinner. I was holding him while we were in line and he had one of those tiny paper cups with a sample of trail mix in it. I guess he decided he was done and he wedged it between my breasts for safe keeping. Oh my goodness, it was hilarious. My cleavage has become one of his favorite places to store his hand in the last few weeks. Even though he's not nursing anymore his fascination with my breasts continues to grow and grow. Probably because they continue to grow and grow. :)

His current favorite thing to say is "mama" which of course melts my heart. Took him long enough to get around to saying it! He used to only say, "dad". Now he sometimes accidentally calls Chris, "mama" hehe.

Liam still doesn't sleep through the night...sigh. But the last week or so it's been a lot better *knocking on wood again!* He's been only waking twice and last night I can only remember him waking once...Could that be right? Maybe it was twice...I can't remember anything these days. Anyhow, he likes us to pat his butt to get him back to sleep and in the last couple days he's taken to patting his crotch to tell me that he wants me to pat his butt. It's so cute!

Chris is off on a white-water rafting trip this weekend so it's just been me and the bean. He comes back tonight and then tomorrow we take Liam on his first camping trip! We are going down to San Clemente beach for 2 nights. I think Liam will love it, but I have a feeling we're going to have a hard time in the sleep department. I guess we'll see! It'll certainly be an adventure.

Anyhow, I guess that's about it...I'll try and post again next week!