Missing my mommy

Driving home from Liam's swimming lesson a bit ago and a U2 song came on. U2 always reminds me of my mom. They were one of her top favorite bands of all time. For one of her birthdays we surprised her with getting a box at the staples center and a ton of us joined her for an awesome U2 concert. She was also able to see them in Vegas shortly after that. Anyhow, hearing them always makes me think of her and miss her.

It's incredible how a song can trigger so much emotion and leave me practically crying in my car on our drive from the aquatics center. I miss her so much. Being pregnant also reminds me a lot of how I don't have her here. I ache to be able to tell her how I'm having another boy and to show her my US pictures. I want to tell her all about Liam and all the new things he's constantly learning to do. She's missing so much. I also want to call her when I'm upset about something and hug her just for the sake of hugging her. I want to tell her how much I love her and miss her. I want to hear her tell me how beautiful my giant bushy eyebrows are. I want to touch her arm, her skin was always so soft.

I've never been a jealous person, but this is one subject that I can get jealous and resentful over. I really try not to, but I genuinely resent people who are so much older than me who still have their parents around. I just can't help but think how unfair it is.

Anyhow, I really really just miss my mommy and I still harbor the wish that I'll wake up one day only to find that this was all a bad dream.