Mo on Art...and Other Stuff

Overdue 5 days and getting anxious

2009-08-21T11:38:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm on day 5 of being overdue and still no sign of labor. I never really thought much about going overdue or worried about it. I never even discussed with my midwife what her policies/procedures were for going overdue till it occurred to me at my 39 week appt to ask. She will only let me go to 42 weeks and then requires me to go into the hospital for induction.

I kind of felt like I'd go early this time, or at least I was really hoping for it. Obviously I was completely wrong on that. (as I type this Aiden is going nutso in my belly, he's quite the kicker and really likes to stretch out...not super comfy.) Now that I'm almost a week past due I'm starting to get anxious. What if the baby doesn't come in the next week? I have so many issues with going into the hospital for an induction. The first is that I would be so so sad to not get my homebirth after months of anticipation and excitement at the prospect of delivering my little man at home. The second is the fact that I'd be in a hospital, not my favorite place. I don't even have a birthplan, plus I'd be being induced, so that right there would introduce some of the medical interventions I was thinking I'd be avoiding with a homebirth. And last, but not least, it'd cost us an additional $2500 to use the back up OB. We simply don't have the money.

Ug. Anyhow, I wasn't anxious about this at all until last night. I figure I have my 41 week appt tomorrow and usually my midwife checking me stirs things up. I'm going to ask her to sweep my membranes, too. She's already done that once, but hopefully this time it's effective. I also read a couple places about using an herbal tincture that is a combination of black and blue cohosh for naturally inducing labor after you are past due. I emailed my midwife about that and we'll see what she says. I really want to just have this baby this weekend and not have to worry about going 2 weeks overdue. Also, I'm starting to worry about other things that are probably not even an issue, like what condition the placenta is in, do I have enough amniotic fluid? What if there is a ton of meconium in the water, will the baby be ok? Ahhhh! Preggo hormones do not help the situation at all.

Anyhow, cross your fingers that this little man evacuates this weekend! I really can't wait to meet him. I was doing so well with not being impatient, I was so proud of myself. Now I'm not so much impatient to meet him as I am anxious about all the stuff that could happen or go wrong should I make it to 42 weeks.

Being sick and pregnant sucks

2009-08-17T17:22:00.000-07:00

So, last Tuesday I came down with the cold that Liam and Chris both had. By Friday I thought it was getting a lot better and hopefully I could have the baby by my due date on Sunday...then Saturday came and I felt a bit worse, much more congested. I had my 40 week midwife appointment. She checked the baby's position and said he's still head down, but not any lower than he was at my 39 week appt. She didn't want to do an internal since I was sick and she didn't want to stir anything up that could put me into labor. It's a good thing she didn't since I was even worse yesterday. I had everything going, congestion in my sinuses, my ears were clogged and hurting, super bad cough, sneezing, headache, etc. I think that it was the worst I've felt from a cold that I can ever remember. Today is much better. I'm still coughing but not nearly as much and my congestion is way down. Phew!

I'm hoping I'll feel even better tomorrow and be ready to go! I'd love for my labor to start tomorrow night and have the baby Wednesday morning. August 19, 2009 would be an excellent birthday for my little man. I can't wait to meet him. I know it'll happen soon, for real now, and I'm so excited. I can't believe that I'm officially overdue!

I hope that I'm able to enjoy Aiden's first few weeks of life more than I was able to with Liam. I think being a 2nd time mom and knowing how to breast feed and such should help a lot. I'm just hoping Liam doesn't have too hard of a time coping with having a new baby in the house. He seems to be warming up to he idea of a "brother" though I don't know if he really understands what a "brother" is. He will soon enough.

In the meantime, I'm enjoying Liam as much as I can. He's so snuggly and soft and really such an amazing little man. I can't get enough of him!

Still pregnant and an update on everything else

2009-08-13T20:29:00.000-07:00

I guess now is a good a time as any to post again. Life's been exhausting recently. I guess I'll do a quick update on each segment of my life.

Liam has grown up so much in the last few months. Part of that has brought on tantrums that have been horrible to deal with. I think it's been a combination of his age as well as somewhat of an understanding that his brother is coming soon.

Liam had been doing pretty well in the sleep department, only waking a couple times a night. Then we took a trip to Seattle (just the bean and me). That messed everything up. I guess that was a month an a half ago and ever since then his sleep has been awful. I decided that I couldn't keep getting up with him during the night and maybe I could change it so that he could come to us. We got him a toddler bed about a week ago and man was that ever a mistake. We've gone beyond backwards. He has always loved his crib and was going down fine in it. He just would wake up a million times a night requiring me to have to get up. Now it's like pulling teeth to even get him to sleep in his bed. It's no fun at all. And he's still waking up tons during the night. It's not helping that right now he (and Chris and I) has a bad cold. Liam being sick always equates to horrible sleeping at night. Last night we couldn't get him to sleep so we finally gave up and had him sleep in our bed. We all went to bed at 8:30...sigh.

Anyhow, other than the sleep issues he's doing really well. His tantruming has gone way down and he is talking soooo much! He's so stinkin adorable. I can't believe how much he has grown up. We were just eating dinner tonight and I was watching him. I have a little "kid". It's crazy!! If he would simply sleep through the night, he'd be pretty much perfect.

Seattle! Liam and I flew by ourselves to Seattle about a month and a half ago. It was so much fun! We stayed with my friends Megan and Paul and their two adorable little squirts. I really really had a great time. I drove around Seattle and went to a couple areas that we are considering moving to. They were so nice. I managed to totally get lost coming home...and my phone was dead. But somehow I managed to find my way back to their house on my own (after wasting maybe an extra 1/2 hour driving around). I sampled many yummy decaf coffees while there and my friends kept me nice and busy. We took the ferry to Bainbridge Island and ate lunch there. We also shopped at Pike Place market, which was really cool. We went swimming and visited parks and played outside. It was so much fun. I loved Seattle and I'm actually quite stoked to move there. I was also really proud of the fact that I survived both flights with Liam by myself!

I wish I'd gotten some pictures, but I've grown a bunch of tomatoes! I keep eating them the second they are ready, so I haven't accumulated any. I can't wait till I have more space and I can grow a ton of tomatoes. They've come out so yummy. I have maybe 10 right now that are still green and growing. My pepper plant completely died and I even managed to kill two rosemary plants.

Like I said in the heading...I'm still pregnant. I've had a few false alarms, but nothing came of them. This Sunday I will officially be 40 weeks pregnant. The baby has been doing well, super active. This pregnancy has been so uneventful, in a very good way. I'm super sore and achy now, but I'm willing to wait this baby out till he is ready. I really wanted to have him on Tuesday, but then Liam and I both came down with colds and it was pretty much out of the question. I really need Liam to get better so I can sleep and then I can get better and have this baby! I really can't wait to meet the little man. I'm so excited!

We FINALLY got my Best Chair! We'd ordered a Best Chair for me to use for nursing when Liam was first born, but the furniture co that we ordered it through screwed it all up and we kept not getting it and finally, months later, we cancelled the order. So, we went to a different furniture co this time and ordered it again. It just came yesterday and it is perfect! It's velvety and chocolate brown. It swivels, reclines and rocks! I can't wait to use it for nursing Aiden!

I guess that's it for now.

Win a super cute sling and muslin blankies!

2009-06-19T13:28:00.000-07:00

Win a Sakura Bloom Ring sling and Aden and Anais Swaddling Blankets from Nature's Child - Wholesome goods for Mothers and Babies

Trying to grow veggies!

2009-06-11T08:57:00.000-07:00

I have never ever had a green thumb. My plants always end up dead, often simply from failing to water them. But I really wanted to start an herb and veggie garden now that we are in our new house and I have the room. For Mother's Day Chris got me several tomato plants, a pepper plant, flowers and a bunch of herb seeds. I'm so proud of myself that for the most part, my plants are still alive! The tomatoes have grown so much bigger than they were when I planted them. They are starting to bloom! I can't wait till I have actually grown a tomato!

Liam helped me out with planting/playing in the dirt the day I took these pictures. He also had fun organizing and reorganizing these rocks in a plant container. It was amazing how long he was occupied with this!!

66 days to go...

2009-06-11T08:36:00.000-07:00

Baby Ticker - The Baby Countdown Pregnancy Tickergreat free widgetsWidgetbox

29 week midwife appointment

2009-06-01T11:14:00.001-07:00

So I had my 29 week midwife appt on Saturday. We did my glucose test and I did the normal peeing on a stick and weighing of myself. *sigh* I gained 7lbs in 3 weeks. I'm only 5lbs away from my end of pregnancy weight with Liam. I can't seem to help myself, I eat like a complete pig. And I don't eat tons of healthy food either. This morning I started off with 3 small pancakes completely slathered in butter and a tiny bit of syrup, and a cup of coffee. Then, a couple hours later I made myself 2 fried eggs and had those over toast. And then (keep in mind that it's only 11am while I'm writing this) I keep eating these tiny little apple pastries (kind of like mini apple turnovers). And I'm holding myself back from chugging the chocolate milk in the fridge. Even after my midwife appt, the first thing I did was go to the drive-thru donut shop on my way home and get two donuts.

Anyhow, I think I'm going to get a lecture on diet at my appt in 2 weeks.

Back to my appt...we listened to the baby's heartbeat and felt for his positioning. He's head down (doesn't mean he'll stay that way) and his butt is on my right side. That's not where I want him to be...I want him on my left side so I don't end up with a back labor, but we still have plenty of time for him to move. His heartbeat was easy to find and is strong, as usual. Liam had fun playing with the doppler and putting it on my belly.

I got my list of supplies for my home birth, it was more than I though it would be. Just lots of little stuff. It's amazing how much more responsible you are for supplies and stuff in a home birth. I realized how much I took for granted at the birthing center last time around.

I was up in the middle of the night thinking about all the stuff I needed to get, figuring out (in my head) what I should use for what, where stuff should go, etc. It'll be good when everything is set up and ready to go and I don't have to worry about it anymore.

My midwife already got my glucose test results back and I passed with flying colors (yay!) but I'm anemic, which I already figured. So I have to get more of the liquid iron supplement I took when I was pregs with Liam.

While I was at my appointment my midwife gave me a bag of loose red raspberry leaves to make tinctures with. It's pretty funny because it totally looks like a bag of pot sitting on my counter. But it smells a lot better. I really really liked drinking the red raspberry leaf tea, but the tincture is a whole other ball of wax. It's like drinking the tea, but 90x's stronger. Very bitter and hard to get down. I drank it cold yesterday, we'll see what it's like if I heat it up today.

Today I'm also working on figuring out how to file claims for all the stuff we are paying for. Hopefully we can get some sort of reimbursment (which we should) from Aetna for all of it. I wish our insurance wasn't so annoying and would just cover everything like they ought to. So frustrating.

Missing my mommy

2009-05-28T11:57:00.000-07:00

Driving home from Liam's swimming lesson a bit ago and a U2 song came on. U2 always reminds me of my mom. They were one of her top favorite bands of all time. For one of her birthdays we surprised her with getting a box at the staples center and a ton of us joined her for an awesome U2 concert. She was also able to see them in Vegas shortly after that. Anyhow, hearing them always makes me think of her and miss her.

It's incredible how a song can trigger so much emotion and leave me practically crying in my car on our drive from the aquatics center. I miss her so much. Being pregnant also reminds me a lot of how I don't have her here. I ache to be able to tell her how I'm having another boy and to show her my US pictures. I want to tell her all about Liam and all the new things he's constantly learning to do. She's missing so much. I also want to call her when I'm upset about something and hug her just for the sake of hugging her. I want to tell her how much I love her and miss her. I want to hear her tell me how beautiful my giant bushy eyebrows are. I want to touch her arm, her skin was always so soft.

I've never been a jealous person, but this is one subject that I can get jealous and resentful over. I really try not to, but I genuinely resent people who are so much older than me who still have their parents around. I just can't help but think how unfair it is.

Anyhow, I really really just miss my mommy and I still harbor the wish that I'll wake up one day only to find that this was all a bad dream.

Camping!

2009-05-27T15:57:00.001-07:00

So we took Liam on his first camping trip this week. It was so much fun. We drove down to San Clemente State Beach on Monday during his nap time (noon) and got there in an hour (woo hoo!).

I had thought about how sandy he would get and what we'd do about that...but I forgot about the inevitable dirt that is at all camp sites. Liam loved it and was completely covered in dirt instantaneously. We had a great first day. He slept on the way there, then we set up camp while he played in the dirt and checked the camp site out. Then we headed down to the beach in the later afternoon. Liam has always loved the beach, so he had a blast playing in the sand and water. So cute!

We came back for dinner and built a big fire. Chris got this thingy for making sparks so he could start fires the old fashioned way...so it took a while because he stubbornly insisted on starting it without matches or a lighter. Then we made some yummy hamburgers and played more in the dirt waiting for the sun to go down. It was almost down and we decided to go shower Liam off and get him ready for bed. I guess we went at the worst possible time because the lights hadn't come on yet but it was too dark to really see. So we took a family shower in the dark to get the bean somewhat washed off. Then it was off to bed for him.

Since this was the first time we'd camped with Liam we didn't realize that really our tent was too small for the three of us. So Liam and I took the tent while Chris took his sleeping bag and pad to sleep under the stars. We went to bed pretty early because we're old, I guess, around 9:45. I was out like a light. UNTIL 10pm or so, when some late arrivers came and decided to very loudly set up camp right across from us. The girl with them had one of those loud piercing voices so that it sounds like she's standing right in front of you when she's really far away. Liam somehow slept through it but Chris and I were ready to kill them. Finally they decided to go to sleep around 2:30 or so and we were able to go to bed...until our camp was attacked by a ton of skunks.

It would have been nice for the camp site people to warn us to not leave any food out anywhere, including the trash...I woke up to what I thought was Chris pacing in circles around in the tent. It woke up Liam too. I ripped the tent door open to ask him what the hell he was doing, only to find a butt ton of skunks all over the place, one hanging out the door and Chris frantically waving at me to not freak them out.

Anyhow, they were still there around 4:30 when I had to navigate around them to go pee. It was lovely.

On Tuesday we had a perfect day. We had pancakes for breakfast and Liam played with his shovel and bucket in the dirt, then we took a drive at his nap time, he fell asleep and we came back to camp and ate lunch while he slept. He woke up and we fed him and headed down to the beach. We spent the whole afternoon till dinner time playing at the beach. And then we came back and had a super yummy dinner of fire roasted corn on the cob, brats and hot dogs. Liam went out and Chris and I chatted in front of the fire till we went to bed. We drifted off to sleep to the sound of some other campers with bongo drums, an excellent singer and guitarist. We all slept like rocks till the morning.

We came back today and I was very happy to shower and get clean! But it was a blast! I can't wait till we can take the bean camping again. Unfortunately it might not be for some time since the baby is due soon and I don't think I'll be wanting to go with the two of them for awhile...

Aren't you proud of me for posting in less than 2 months since my last post!?!

10 years later

2009-05-24T14:17:00.001-07:00

Ok, so I suck at keeping up with posts.

I'm now 28 weeks pregnant! I can't believe how fast it's gone by. I feel pretty good. I have back issues, the same ones I had when I was pregs with Liam, I can't sleep too well and I'm super tired. Those are pretty much my only issues right now. Yay! *knocking on wood*

A lot has changed even since my last post. We had our US to find out what we were having and it was as clear as day, it's a little boy! I was pretty bummed that day because I really had my heart set on a little girl and I really felt like that was what I was having. I was soooo looking forward to all the cute girly clothes and cloth diapers and everything else that comes with having sugar and spice. I gave myself one day to have a little pity party and then I got over it. I can say now that I am super excited to have another little boy. I really have so much fun with Liam and I think he's going to love having a little brother.

The baby is kicking a ton and I already feel like I know him. He feels so different from Liam. I don't know how to describe it, but he just feels like he has a completely different personality. I can't wait for him to be born so I can see what he is like.

The appointment with my OB where we did our US was the last one. We decided to switch to a midwife and have a home birth. Our midwife is great! Her name is Margo Kennedy. I really really liked her when I was pregs with Liam but she was all booked up. I'm so glad I was able to snag her for this baby.

I'm getting excited planning and figuring out what I need for the birth. I went on freecycle and asked for old dingy king sized sheets and old towels and I got a ton. So I'm all set in that department. I'll be set for life with rags after this birth! I've already decided what tub I'm going to rent and we have the tarp we need for it. I was supposed to stop by at the midwife's office yesterday to pick up some red raspberry leaf and the list of birth supplies I need. I completely forgot. Arg. I'll just have to get it next week at my appt.

My next appt is when I do my glucose test. I'm a little worried about it, but at least my midwife does it in such a way that's not pure torture. All I have to do is eat a normal meal and then she'll take my blood two hours later. Not too bad at all! No nasty syrupy drink, no fasting! Woo hoo!

I'm having so much fun with Liam these days. He's growing up so fast. He understands everything we say and responds with his own little words. Some of them come out right, like "car" "truck" "tag" etc. But then there are words, like "ball" that come out weird. His "ball" is "gar" No idea why. He's a little trouble maker and is getting really good at throwing tantrums. But it's amazing how an hour after he throws a horrible tantrum in the middle of the grocery store I find myself telling him how he's been such a good boy all day...duh...because he's been a super sweetie pie for 5 minutes. I just forget about all the other stuff when he's like that. He has the sweetest smile. And he's so snugglie still.

On Thursday we were at the farmer's market getting dinner. I was holding him while we were in line and he had one of those tiny paper cups with a sample of trail mix in it. I guess he decided he was done and he wedged it between my breasts for safe keeping. Oh my goodness, it was hilarious. My cleavage has become one of his favorite places to store his hand in the last few weeks. Even though he's not nursing anymore his fascination with my breasts continues to grow and grow. Probably because they continue to grow and grow. :)

His current favorite thing to say is "mama" which of course melts my heart. Took him long enough to get around to saying it! He used to only say, "dad". Now he sometimes accidentally calls Chris, "mama" hehe.

Liam still doesn't sleep through the night...sigh. But the last week or so it's been a lot better *knocking on wood again!* He's been only waking twice and last night I can only remember him waking once...Could that be right? Maybe it was twice...I can't remember anything these days. Anyhow, he likes us to pat his butt to get him back to sleep and in the last couple days he's taken to patting his crotch to tell me that he wants me to pat his butt. It's so cute!

Chris is off on a white-water rafting trip this weekend so it's just been me and the bean. He comes back tonight and then tomorrow we take Liam on his first camping trip! We are going down to San Clemente beach for 2 nights. I think Liam will love it, but I have a feeling we're going to have a hard time in the sleep department. I guess we'll see! It'll certainly be an adventure.

Anyhow, I guess that's about it...I'll try and post again next week!

And again...it's been a long time

2009-03-10T13:46:00.001-07:00

Ok, so it's kind of sad that I last posted on here in November. A lot has happened in the last few months.

We moved a few weeks ago to a house in Alhambra. Woo hoo! The house is 3 beds, 2 baths. I finally have a fireplace and a yard for the bean to play in. I can't even begin to describe how much I love having a house. The condo was great and all for a couple, but with the bean it was just way to small.

When we moved we had to get rid of our cats. I gave them to my sister's boyfriend, telling him what great cats they were. Well, I didn't realize that my favorite cat (the short haired one) would turn into Cujo for a week. Complete psycho screaming cat, ready to kill anything that moved. This happened when I took him to the vet, but I'd never seen it anywhere else. Anyhow, it took about a week and then one day he was his old self again. That's all fine and dandy except last night I found out that he was killed by a neighborhood cat. ): I was really sad, he was my favorite of the 2.

We rented our condo out, so now I am a landlord! Fancy that! It's been interesting but fortunately I haven't had to do much.

I kind of left out the biggest reason we moved. I'm pregnant! We are due August 16th, but I think that my due date might be off by a few days (I think it should be closer to the 11th). We'll see. We weren't really planning on the pregnancy, but of course pregnancy is fairly easy to prevent and we weren't do a great job of that either...

We have our big ultrasound to find out the sex of the baby on the 30th. I'm so excited. I can't wait. I really really want a girl, but of course I'll take anything that is healthy!

I finally weaned Liam about a month and a half ago. I was really sad about it, but it happened so easily, I guess it was the right time. We thought that weaning him would likely help his nighttime sleep situation, but it hasn't at all. He's now in his own room, but still wakes up several times a night. I sure hope he starts sleeping through the night before the next one comes.

I've become obsessed with cloth diapering. I pulled out all my old stuff that I had barely tried with Liam and I went on a crazy buying spree. I have a ton of diapers now and I'm just getting some of them stripped, some of them prepped and then we will be full time cloth diapering. I'm excited about exclusively cloth diapering baby #2. It'll be a lot easier now that we have our own washer and drier.

What else...my sisters and I threw my SIL, Dynnel and my little sister their baby showers in the last few weeks. They both went so well. I can't wait till they have their babies (which should be any day now!).

Anyhow, that's a quick update on everything for now. I have tons of pictures I need to upload, and when I do I'll post again with some pics!

It's been forever and a half

2008-11-22T10:31:00.000-08:00

Ok, I'm too annoyed with blogger to go through the work of arranging all these pics, but the first 3 are of course of my little monkey on Halloween. And the rest are from his birthday, which I talk about at the bottom of my post. Enjoy!

o

Life as a mom has been crazy these days. I'm having so much fun with it, but definitely having some of those tear your hair out days. Liam is cute as ever, but getting more and more active and opinionated.

Last week I was in the kitchen and I was surprised when I turned around to find the bean ON TOP of the dining room table. Of course that was where we'd been stashing all our breakable stuff we'd been removing from other parts of the house. I quickly took him down and ran around like a mad woman trying to figure out where else to stick the stuff (which was hard as Liam can get practically anywhere). I hadn't even begun to get the stuff off the table and Liam was already back on it. Over and over again I took him off and he got back on, easy as pie. That began my week of hell. Not only did he learn to get onto the dining room table on Monday, but we both became sick. So all week he was climbing up, falling off, giving me heart attacks, not sleeping due to being sick, etc. And to top it off, Chris went out of town for a couple days...and of course the night he was out Liam had me up all night with coughing, puking and the need to be consoled. The poor guy. I never realized how much dealing with him puking all over the bed in the middle of the night was a team activity--till it was just me. You should have seen me trying to figure out what to do first. I was trying to wipe it off the bed so it wouldn't soak into the mattress but at the same time Liam kept barfing. I was losing ground. I finally picked him up, set him on the ground and cleaned up the bed, and then we took a 5am shower to get the puke off the both of us. Ah, life as a mommy. ;p

This week has been much better, thankfully. Liam and I are both getting over being sick, he finally started listening to us about the climbing so he isn't doing it when we say "no". He's been in a much better mood.

Chris is out of town again right now on a kayaking trip. I hope he is having a great time. It's been nice, but a bit of work having Liam all to myself with no breaks. Thursday night was awesome. Liam and I had the whole bed to ourselves. We both slept so much better. Liam only woke up like 4 times!! While that may sound like a lot for a baby who is almost 14 months old, it is practically a record for Liam these days.

I'm bummed I never posted anything about Liam's birthday party, so I'll post it here and I'll have to find the pics and post them soon. We had Liam's party at the old zoo in Griffith park. It was so much fun. Excepting the fact that pretty much everyone got lost getting there (despite maps and signs) it was the perfect location. There were tons of places for the bigger kids to explore and climb, and lots of grass and dirt for the littler ones to play in. Some of the adults were playing football.

I made Chris get there early and we snagged the first habitat that is nice and big and has picnic tables in it. There were little caves that we were able to stash the possibly-not-allowed-grown-up drinks in. Everything was a monkey theme. I had green and brown table cloths and Chris put up green and brown streamers and balloons. I have to put a plug in here for Chris as he basically did all the decorations by himself. So cute!

We had little monkey centerpieces and little monkey tiki hut favor boxes. We also had several bubble machines which the little kids had a blast with. The cake was awesome and I made the exact right amount of food. It all turned out so well.

I guess that's it for now. I need to find those pics and get them posted

Liam's Birthday

2008-10-10T18:12:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it's already been an entire year! It has gone so fast. As you can see from my lack of blogs, I've been busy.

I absolutely love motherhood and everything it entails. It's quite worth dealing with the god-awful poopy diapers, sleepless nights, tantrums, etc.

Liam has continued to be the more adorable little turkey I've ever seen. I know he's mine and all, but still, he is insanely cute.

Aside from all the obvious stuff, like crawling, sitting up, eating solids, etc. he can do so many things now. He loves giving us 5's and if Chris says, "If you're a troublemaker put your hands on your head!" he does! One of his favorite toys for a long time has been his ball. He had a mini-basketball, but that became a bathtub/shower toy. Now he has a tennis ball graciously donated by his cousin Layla (translate: Michelle gave Liam a dirty dog slobbered tennis ball and Liam couldn't have been happier). Liam also loves to dance, press buttons on anything that has buttons, and playing with the kitties.

Having the cats, while hairy, has provided us with such a simple way to make Liam happy. He absolutely loves the cats. If he's grumpy or we need to distract him, all we need to do is ask him where the kitties are.

Just recently Liam taught himself how to get off the couch...unfortunately. I now REALLY have to watch him on the bed and couch otherwise he might try to get off and he isn't too good at it yet.

Liam is such a monkey. I remember watching my friend's son, who is quite the climber and thinking how cool/scary it was and wondering if Liam would do the same. Sure enough, he's a climber. It's amazing how much he gets into even though he's still so little. He's not walking or standing on his own yet, but he can easily climb into a box almost as tall as he is. Crazy stuff.

Win 12 Bumgenius Diapers!!

2008-07-25T15:34:00.001-07:00

http://babycheapskate.blogspot.com/2008/07/giveaway-12-bumgenius-30-diapers.html

Dreams

2008-07-22T16:13:00.000-07:00

On a daily basis I have several vivid and detailed dreams which I remember the next day. Of course I forget some of them, but I remember a large portion of them and usually can recount them to someone hours later with tons of specifics.

In a lot of my dreams I know it is a dream. I am aware that it isn't real. I have often enjoyed my dreams and compare them to the movies. It's like going to sleep and getting entertained while doing so. The only thing is that I feel like I don't really get as well rested when I so active in my sleep.

The other problem with have extremely vivid dreams is the waking up part. Sometimes, especially with sad dreams, or dreams you have bad arguments in, I wake up so distressed and it's difficult to console myself with the fact that it was just a dream. I remember having a dream many years ago that my nephew was on the beach at twilight and there was this massive storm brewing. I was running to him trying to get him away from the water. A huge wave came and crashed over him and took him away. I totally woke up from that dream sobbing and even months later it made me sad even though he was completely fine in real life and I knew he was. I even talked about it with my church councilor trying to reconcile it with myself so it didn't make me sad.

I hate the ones where I fight with someone in a dream and then woke up and I can't shake the feeling of being pissed off at them, even though they didn't do anything wrong in real life.

I have never talked to anyone who has had dreams the way I do. I don't know why that is. Am I just an anomaly or are there others out there like me?

Last night I had a couple of odd dreams. The first one I only remember part of. I was at a friend's party at their house. The house was a huge beautiful modern mansion. I had gotten pretty toasted and as a result I was, well, interested in engaging in particular activities with my husband. Chris told me he really wasn't in the mood, but maybe his friend (we'll call him "Jack") could take care of me instead (not something that would ever happen in real life). I was shocked and surprised and told him, "hell no!". Later Chris came up to me and told me that I'd hurt "Jack's" feelings by the way I responded and he wondered if I didn't like him or if I thought there was something wrong with him. I told my husband that I was flattered he'd be interested in doing those activities with me, but that actually the problem was that he was just too hot (he is really cute in real life). I was embarrassed by my ugly post-baby body and didn't want him to see me.

Later I decided to take my husband up on his offer, but with a different friend, we'll call him "Joe". So I went to his bedroom. I think at this point it turned out that this was in fact his party and his mansion. So, anyhow, I went to his bedroom, stripped down and got into bed. He was in the middle of painting this massive mural on his ceiling. Instead of getting in bed with me he asked me to paint some of it for him. So I wrapped the sheet around me and got up and started painting. I was painting these big, chunky flowers with oil paints. They were coming out really well.

While I was painting my friend's father came in the room and wanted to talk to him, so he asked me to leave. So I got dressed and I remember being embarrassed when I flashed my naked body at him, thinking again that my post-baby body was so ugly and not what it used to be.

Later I came back into his room and he had finished the mural. My flowers were gone and instead there was this amazing and intricate painting with out of this world cities and planets, etc. It was phenomenal.

The end. That's all I remember about that dream now (it's 4:40 in the afternoon, so that's pretty good, they sometimes fade as the day goes on)...

I then had a completely dis-related dream about being pregnant. Several days went by in my dream and every day I had the cutest maternity outfit on. I was so impressed by my dream maternity outfits and in my dream I wished I had them in real life. I was a hot preggo. One day my sister, my sister-in-law (who was also pregnant in my dream) and my dad decided to go to the mall to get some lotion.

Side note: I know why I had this dream. My brother called me last night to tell me that he and my SIL are expecting their 4th (and unexpected) baby. The poor guy is scheduled for the good ol' snip snip next month-oops. Anyhow, on with the dream.

We went to this one store and my sister brought her stroller for some reason, I'm not sure why as her kids are 16 and 17 years old. We were in the lotion store going over different types of sunscreen and the lady was talking to me like I was a complete idiot. I told her I wasn't even the one buying the sunscreen as I already had it (poof! my baby is now in the dream, too). I showed her my baby and that he's 9.5 months old. Obviously by now I had some sunscreen for him. Anyway, we browsed the store and my SIL finally bought some lotion.

When we left the store the paparazzi was swarming the mall. My sister was bitching about having the stroller saying that she thought she could check it at the first store we stopped at. She was complaining about how things had changed since she had her kids.

It was impossible to maneuver anywhere in the mall as the paps were everywhere (I have no idea why).

That's pretty much all I remember of that one. I remembered more this morning, but I've forgotten now. Oh well.

So, those were the two dreams from last night that I remember parts of. If you catch me first thing in the morning I'll talk your ear off telling you about my dreams from the night before.

I even remember dreams from when I was a little kid. I had a few of nightmares that I still remember clearly. One was when I was 5 or 6 and was about giant bugs, another was from when I was 7 or 8 and my parents died, and another was from around the same time period and was about me being stuck in a house with tons of ghosts outside trying to get me.

I've even noticed that I tend to handle things in a certain way time after time in dreams. Like when I'm being attacked by someone I most often will come up with a knife as my weapon. I will try to stab the person in self-defense and no matter how hard I stab them or how many times the stab wounds are always superficial and they never die. Out of desperation, I usually resort to some disgusting means of defense, generally clawing their eyes out. I've done it several times in various dreams. Also, phones NEVER work in my nightmares. I'll try over and over again to call someone for help and I will not be able to press the buttons properly no matter how much I try, or if I do it'll still come up as being wrong. Ah, it's agonizing.

So, why do I have such vivid dreams? I'm not one for thinking they mean much. I've dreamed I was pregs so many times and I have yet to have that actually coincide with a pregnancy. I've dreamed people have died and the only one that has come true is my mom. But I had the dream when I was 7 or 8. And she only died last year. So...what do they mean?

Okay, so I'm really sucking at posting a picture a day recently...

2008-07-11T13:33:00.000-07:00

Life has been pretty busy recently and I've rarely been on the computer. I've been challenged to post a picture a day till July 15th (I think) but recently I've really been sucking at it. I just haven't been on the computer. Between the thousands of emails I have gotten behind in due to being part of way too many talkative groups, and my blog and the POD's I've pretty much given up.

I've been having so much fun the last couple weeks, though. Liam and I started a Kindermusik class calling Singing and Signing. I've been wanting to sign with him, but I haven't known where to start. I've only been to one class but it's already got me going. We've been swimming a ton and going to lots of play dates. I've been trying to have him around as many other children and babies as possible for obvious reasons.

I am also starting to work part time from home doing finances for my brother's company. I started working on it this Wednesday. I'm excited to be able to do some grown-up work during the day. I love playing and hanging out with Liam, but I need grown-up time, too!

Oh, and as you read about below...this week was our anniversary. So that was another thing I was up to.

Anyhow, here are a butt-load of pictures to catch me up on my POD's. The theme for these are things, people, activities, etc. that I love. Some are recent, some are old.

Mom, Dad and Me at the workshop

Tahiti on our honeymoon

Megs

My bro

Me at the Parker in Palm Springs just after Chris and I were married
Sailing with Claude and Amy

My sister and me

The bug, newborn

Liam, seconds after being born

Me in Tahiti on our honeymoon

Liam, one day old

Chinatown

The Getty

The Getty

Chris and Liam at the Halloween parade

Dodger Game

2008-07-11T13:25:00.000-07:00

Last night we went to Liam's first Dodger game! He did such a good job. The game didn't start till 7:10, which is basically his bedtime. We stayed till about 9:15. He loved all the people and the banners. I was mostly worried about the cheering as he can be sensitive to loud sudden noises, but he was a champ!

We went with my sister and her boyfriend. We drank beer and ate ice cream and peanuts. Liam had part of a pretzel and some ice cream, too (I know, I know, I'm a terrible mommy).

As for how the Dodger game went...I don't really know. I don't generally actually watch the games. I'm a bad baseball fan. And we like the Padres anyhow...hehe. But when we left I think the Marlins were up by 1.

I forgot my camera, as usual, so I took these with my phone. They came out surprisingly well.

My 2nd Anniversary...and POD for Tuesday

2008-07-09T13:01:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the 2nd anniversary of my marriage. My MIL offered to take the baby home with her for the night as a surprise for my hubby. So I pumped like a crazy lady to make enough bottles for Liam and then I took them to the train station yesterday around 4pm.

My MIL told me that Liam had a blast on the train, that he was fascinated (it was his first train ride) and he was flirting with all the passengers (that's my boy!).

So I made a big meal for Chris and I. I made leg of lamb, mashed potatoes, green beans and sauteed some mushrooms. I also made a salad. And we had some REALLY yummy cab to go with dinner. I was worried I mess the meat up as I've never made leg of lamb before...but it was so good. It turned out to be one of the yummiest meals I've eaten in a long time (fancy restaurants included).
Chris and I then went to the movies and saw Hancock. I'm pretty sure we laughed during many parts that weren't supposed to be funny. Chris was in agony for a large part of the movie. We determined we have missed much in terms of movies in the last 9 months since Liam was born...

We were going to go to a yummy wine bar nearby but it was closed. So instead we headed for a dive bar Chris had always wanted to go to. There we ran into an old friend of mine, Tony, for those of you who know him who are reading this. Talk about a small world. I'd actually been wanting to get in touch with him for a year now so that was pretty cool. We had some beers and then went home.

And the night ended much as you would expect it to...(wink wink)

My Village Green POD for Monday....

2008-07-09T12:49:00.000-07:00

On Monday Liam learned how to pull himself up on things and how to sit up from laying down (on his belly). All in about 20 mins, first thing in the morning. It was so cool! He still has a bit of trouble every now and then pulling himself up on things but he's an expert at sitting up. Here he is after he pulled himself up!

My Village Green POD for Sunday....

2008-07-09T12:26:00.000-07:00

So it was hot as hell on Sunday and all I wanted to do was just in a pool and go swimming...so we went over to my SIL's house. The pool was so nice. Here's the bug all sunscreened up!After the swim...

For Alex-Our Kitties

2008-07-05T12:39:00.001-07:00

Here is the story of my kitties and how they came to be:

Before I moved in with Chris I had a small female black cat. Being the not-quite-as-responsible-as-I-am-now-20 year old I procrastinated on getting her fixed. So she got pregnant relatively quickly (when I was still thinking she was a kitten). She had her kittens. I can't remember how many, like 5 or 6 of them. And then she got really sick. At first we (I was living temporarily with my parents at the time) just thought she was skinny as she'd just had the kittens. But it wasn't so. She was taken to the vet and it turned out that she was really sick and we ended up having to put her down.

The kittens were only a couple weeks old so we were feeding them with little tiny bottles and formula. My mom especially tried to take good care of them. Now that I think of it, I had just moved back out of my parents, so that was why my mom was taking care of them. Anyhow, despite my mom's best efforts the kittens were dying. Each day a new one would go. In the end there was only one little black kitty left and I took him home.

We tried to think of a good name for him...we went through a ton of them, some good, some mean, some funny. None of them ever stuck and he will be forever known as "Kitty". He's always been quite a bit of a menace. He's moody and if you swat him for doing something bad he has no compunction about turning right around on you and attacking you. But he's also very loving. He is sometimes so loving that he's obnoxious. He's a very snuggly cat. He also has moments of insanity...he'll leap into the air like a ghost just pinched his butt when absolutely nothing is going on. Surprisingly, he's also the best with Liam. He lets Liam pull his hair, hit him, etc. and just sits there and takes it like a man. Anyhow, so that is Kitty. He's the short-haired black kitty in the pictures.

I've always told myself I'd NEVER get a long-haired cat as they are just too hairy. It's bad enough with short-haired cat, but dealing with the fur that gets on everything with a long-haired cat is just annoying.

We were over at my SIL's house and my BIL had this little litter of kittens that a feral cat had given birth too in his garage. There was this one little dark grey kitty that was just too cute. I was hooked. Dang kittens are always cuter than the cat they turn out to be. And of course, he was long-haired.

So I brought him home. He used to sleep on me exclusively, he loved me. Then one day he was too good for me and would only sleep on Chris. He refused to let me pet him or snuggle with him. Stinky cat.

At least he has a name. Chris named him Pauly Walnuts after the Sopranos character. He always had these white hairs sticking out of his ears...he looks just like him.

So, these are my kitties...

My Village Green POD's

2008-07-05T11:47:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I know I'm totally copying Marlyn, but I couldn't help myself. It's been quite a while since we've made it to our farmer's market and we finally went today. I'm so excited about my bounty! The last time we were going regularly was in the winter when there wasn't that much exciting produce, but now everything that I like is back in season! Yay! Anyhow, here it all is. Yum yum!

My Village Green POD's-July 4th!

2008-07-05T11:03:00.000-07:00

I meant to bring my camera and tripod to our 4th of July celebrations yesterday and like the dorfus I am I completely forgot the camera. So I didn't get any pictures of the fireworks. ): But I did find this picture I took of Chris who-knows-when and it is conveniently very red, white and blue.

As is tradition, we went over to my SIL's house out in Chino for the 4th. They always have a big BBQ with an outrageous number of people. I'm sure I see most of them every year on the 4th, but I continue to not know who half of them are. We drank beer and ate brats and when the sun finally went down we had a big firework show. It was a ton of fun and Liam wasn't scared! The poor guy was tired though. We didn't make it through the whole show, but he got to see a lot of it. It was a ton of fun!

I hope everyone else had a great 4th!

My Village Green POD's

2008-07-04T08:36:00.000-07:00

I didn't get the pics taken that I wanted to in time for HNT....and now it's Saturday anyhow. So here are my pics of the day for Thursday. I took these when Liam was pretty little. It was incredible how hard it was to take these by myself. The little bugger kept moving!

My Village Green POD's

2008-07-02T21:19:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I didn't have any new pics uploaded...but here are my after-the-appendectomy pics. In June of last year, when I was about 6 months pregs I contracted appendicitis.

I remember I had decided to eat healthier. I think I must've gone to my 6 months appt or something that Thursday and I felt like I was gaining wieght too fast. So I on Friday I packed myself a ton of veggies for my lunch along with some carbs that I just can't do without. That night I started having a stomachache. I thought that it must've been because I was suddenly eating so many veggies.

On Saturday I felt better and I even went to a concert that night with my sisters. Sunday morning came and I had the worst case of "indigestion". My stomachache from Friday night had returned. I made Chris go out and get me all sorts of tums and other stuff and I chewed a ton of them up...but they were no help.

Chris wanted to walk to the book store (about a mile away) and I figured I'd walk with him...walking is supposed to help indigestion, right? I got about a block and a half and the pain was literally making the tears run. But instead of turning back, like a normal person would've, I pressed on. When we got to Borders I got giant pretzel, which I found I could hardly eat because now I was nauseous, too. Chris offered to go back and get the car, but I just wanted to go home. I didn't want to wait at Borders. So I painfully walked the mile back.

We called the OB and she told us that it was probably just indigestion and said I should take some pepto and if it didn't go away and we were really concerned we could always go to the ER (but she pretty much just brushed it off as indigestion). We called my mother-in-law and she suggested I lay down and prop up my feet. I was finally able to sleep a bit this way and it felt like my stomach was feeling better-if I didn't move at all. I found that it was incredibly tender on my right side.

I, of course, googled my symptoms and came up with the conclusion that I probably had appendicitis. So as I was still in pain and it was the late afternoon I decided to go to the ER. The whole time I was there I felt like such a dork. I was sure it was just something silly and it felt dumb to be going to the ER. They did an ultrasound on me and lo and behold there was my appendix, ginormous and easily seen on the ultrasound, even by me. So they wheeled me into surgery and cut out my appendix.

Here are the shots of the aftermath. After my appendectomy I always got shots of the pretty side of my tummy and the ugly side...so I have two shots for every stage. I also included some shots of when I was more pregs and healed up some....For my HNT I'll post what my ugly tummy looks like now...

Yesterday and my Village Green POD...

2008-07-01T09:12:00.001-07:00

My friend Sarah had posted something about hiding in the internet on her blog and it made me think. I realized I needed to be better about going out and living life instead of sitting on the computer all the time. So yesterday I skipped being on my computer, for the most part. I have a butt-load of emails I have to read, and hopefully one day I'll catch them up.

Liam and I had such a fun day. We took his morning nap together. I love snuggling with him, there's just something about it that is absolutely heavenly. Then we went on a long walk. I decided to spice up our walk a bit by walking through Cal Tech. They have a really pretty campus.

Cal Tech...I usually walk through Cal Tech on the weekends when there are few people there. But today I was walking through around noon so there were tons of people out and about. I people watched and it was pretty interesting what I saw. The first thing I noticed was snobbery. Yes, geeks can be snobs, apparently. Walking with a baby I've grown accustomed to being smiled at. Everyone thinks babies are cute and they always smile. Except for Cal Tech students. I must have passed literally 50-75 people while walking around the campus and it wasn't till I was almost out the other side till I got my one and only smile from a young Asian guy. That was it. Maybe the students and staff resented that I was walking on their campus. I don't know. People with babies take walks on the campus ALL the time. I found it pretty remarkable.

The other thing I was surprised to see were the amount of normal looking people I saw. Ok, so I know I'm stereotyping, but if you lived right next to Cal Tech for 4 years you would start to also. There is a Cal Tech student in our building that if I didn't know he was a student there I'd think he was some sort of little weird serial killer or something. He's a strange guy. We once had a water issue (I tried to give Liam a bath and when I turned on the water it was green). He is in the unit above ours so I asked him if he could turn on his water and see if it was also green. He called me and went into a whole spiel about the this chemical in the water and that chemical and how he ran an analysis on the water, etc. The end result being, no, his water wasn't green.

Anyhow, I saw a fair number of nerdy people there, but I also saw a lot of average-looking people...it was odd. I honestly have never seen that many normal looking people at Cal Tech before. Maybe is a some sort of summer program thing...

Anyhow, my walk through the campus was really pretty. We then continued to walk to get to the major street I wanted to go to so I could get myself some lunch. Which I did. We got home around 2 and Liam and I both ate yummy food. This is a set of condos that I love. If I ever HAD to stay living in a condo I'd want to live here...

In the afternoon I took Liam to his first movie! We saw Wall-E. It was so cute! Liam talked through most of it and was a bit more interested in the cup holder than the movie, but we made it through. He did watch it here and there, especially when there was more talking involved.

That was pretty much our entire day, but it was really nice. We came home and ate some more and Liam took a bath and then he went to bed. And I finally got to relax...

Added bonus picture!! This is the first pic I've taken that I can clearly see Liam's third tooth! Yay!

I wasted $3.00

2008-07-01T08:58:00.001-07:00

Ok, so I might be an ass, but I've always believed that no one should get something for nothing. That was how I was raised and I agree with it. I think that if you start giving people stuff and they do nothing to exchange for it, it creates a bad process. I know if someone kept giving me stuff over and over again and I never did anything in return I'd feel like shit. I'd know that I should be doing something for all that stuff they are giving me. Granted, I've always harbored a dream that I'd win the lottery. But I've also always secretly known that I'd feel like such a dork if that was how I became rich. I know I'd have to use that money to actually make a name for myself. Actually make money on my own.

Anyhow, so this way of thinking has always applied to people asking for money on the street. I'm one of those jerks who never gives it. The only exception is if the person is doing something for it, like if they are playing music, singing, etc. something to exchange for the money. Then I think it's only fair that I give them money. And plus, I love that I can walk down old town and hear music all the time.

So, today I went to starbucks because we had no food at home. There was a lady outside, clearly not a bum or anything, asking for money for food. I told her I didn't have any cash on me and she gave me this look like I was BSing her, which I was. For the first time in my life I actually felt guilty for this. So I went inside and I was like, well if she's genuinely hungry, I'll just get her a breakfast sandwich, that way she can't spend the money on something else. So I got her one. It took forever and when I finally came out she was friggin gone!

I finally give in and it was for nothing.

So I drove home with my extra breakfast sandwich and the whole way home I was looking for a bum to stop and give it to. Unfortunately, or fortunately, Pasadena doesn't have a ton of homeless people, so I didn't see a single one on my drive home. Not even the old lady that always sleeps on the library steps...

My extra breakfast sandwich is sitting on my dining room table. Just sitting there. With no one to eat it.

My Village Green POD (s)

2008-06-30T21:28:00.000-07:00

So I had all these pics to post from today and a whole post I was going to write about my day, but I'm too tired. So here's a picture of one of Chris' toes from after his hike...

My Village Green POD (s)

2008-06-29T13:09:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I decided to do eyes today....I don't know why the text I am writing is underlined, oh well. Anyhow, see if you can guess which ones are mine. Hint: I'm in here twice.

My Village Green POD (s)

2008-06-28T20:42:00.000-07:00

Some of my favorite flowers...peonies:

I had nothing to do today...So Liam and I went on a walk and took some random pictures of stuff I saw. I took a picture of a bee because it made me think of Sarah and her bee pictures...so it's a tribute to her. :)

The street next to mine, mine was too ugly to take a picture of:
I love our post man.
Some pretty trees and a bum sleeping
Flowers that always remind me of my mom and a bee

My Mom

2008-06-27T14:23:00.000-07:00

Alright, so this is my post about my mom. My mom was the most amazing mom I think anyone could have had. And I don't say this because she isn't around anymore. I've said it my whole life. I've always considered myself lucky for having the parents I had/have.

Now I don't hold my mom on a pedestal or think she was perfect. She was far from it. She had an annoying way of holding multiple conversations while on the phone with you, so you never knew if she was talking to you or someone else. She forgot things all the time. I doubt I could count on one hand the number of times she forgot to bring my sister's kids home from school and someone had to go back and get them. But I think all her imperfections are part of what made her my mom and the best mom.

One of the things I loved about my mom was that you could always count on her to be there for you no matter what. No matter how much I screwed up she was always there and always loved me just the same. I could tell her anything. She never judged me or my siblings.

My mom and I hit a rough patch when I was a young teen. There wasn't anything she could do that didn't piss me off. It wasn't her fault, it was mine. We just fought constantly. I remember being 13 or 14 and telling her I was going to try and move in with my sister and she told, "Go right ahead!" She was like, thank god! Get the hell out. I didn't move out but I did move about 100 yards away to an over-sized shed-like room attached to our garage. It seems like it took a little while, but one day we just got along again. I think part of the problem was that I was a depressed teen-my god the hormones teenagers go through.

But one day it was all better and we were the best of friends. I then really did move out when I was 15 and my mom was so sad that I did. I can't think of a single fight we had since I moved out.

When I was 16 I moved to Florida for 3 years and we used to talk on the phone literally every day for at least an hour. I missed my mom so much.

When I needed a place to go when I was 20, she took me right back in. And she took her role back over. I remember the first night I spent over at Chris' house. I didn't want to call my mom and tell her I wouldn't be home, so like a chicken I texted her (even though I was pretty sure she'd never read a text in her life). She called me in the morning and was so pissed. Not because I spent the night at Chris' but that I didn't call her. She always was such a mother hen...

Which brings me to her collection of chickens. We always used to refer to her chickens as her "chicken shit". My parents even labeled their packing boxes "chicken shit" when they moved. My mom collected so many chickens it was insane. It's been a year since she died and we still have boxes and boxes of chicken stuff to go through. She also collected spoons. You know those silver spoons that say "Chicago" or "Ireland" on them. She also just had crazy spoons she found in her travels and I believe she had a wooden spoon my brother made her. We still have to go through all those and divide them up.

Another thing my mom had a ton of was pictures. The walls of our houses always were covered in pictures and that didn't even make a dent in the boxes and boxes of loose pictures she had stored away. I wish she'd labeled them as it's getting to where we don't know who half the people are in them.

My mom was overweight my entire life. As a kid I remember her extra rolls with fondness. A favorite memory of mine was when she would lay on the couch to watch TV and my little sister and I would get to lay on top of her (like she was our couch). She was so soft. I also remember she'd always talk about her tummy rolls, I loved them. My entire life she was ALWAYS dieting. She always wanted to lose that weight and she never did. She sometimes would lose some and then it would stop coming off. She tried so hard.

My mom also had the softest skin. I always wished my skin was that soft. She had dark brown skin and literally no body hair. She didn't even have eyebrows. And she never had to shave. Lucky lady. She always loved my eyebrows and eyelashes. She complimented them all the time. She would also always talk about how lucky she was that all her daughters were so beautiful. She was so proud of all her children.

My mom worked at the school I went to for 23 years. I loved being a kid and being able to go to her during the day to get food and borrow money, or just to say, "hi". I used to pester her all the time when she was trying to work. Back in June of 2006 I started working there. I loved being able to see her every day. Unfortunately she had to take time off due to being sick starting in November of 2006...we always thought that would just be temporary. Even now, when I walk the halls of the school, I think of her. Even a few weeks ago when I subbed I had a temporary brainfart and started to walk to her office to say hi. It's moments like those that hurt the most. When I realize that I can't.

So, some time during the summer of 2006 my mom came down with the "flu". She then had what she assumed was a kidney infection. And then a "flu" etc. She was sick for my entire bridal shower. She slept in my bedroom for the whole thing. I felt so bad that she had the flu. She was even sick at my wedding, with another "flu". I always look at my wedding pictures with regret. I realize that I was having so much fun I didn't even notice that my mom wasn't hardly around for my wedding. I am pissed that the photog didn't get a single picture of me and my mom by ourselves.

I guess I should mention a little bit more about my mom before getting into what happened next...my parents have always been hippies. They never really liked doctors. I recall going to the doc twice during my entire childhood. When my mom started having tons of "kidney infections" she went to her nutritionalist/chiro she'd been seeing for years. She took her vits and drank her cranberry juice, etc. At one point she FINALLY went to a doc, but not a GP, a kidney specialist as she was sure it was kidney infections she was having. He told her her kidney was just fine. But she went to him when she was feeling better, so this made sense. The kidney infection was better so of course it'd look fine.

Anyhow, my hubby and I took a belated honeymoon in December of 2006. By this time my mom couldn't drive anymore as her back hurt so much. She couldn't work and was in a ton of pain. She decided to go into her church to see if she could get help that route. Thankfully the first thing they did was ask her if she'd been to the doc. They literally walked her down the street to a doc and that was when they found the cancer.

As I was on my honeymoon, my sisters decided not to tell me till I got back. I emailed them several times asking about mom and I don't even remember what they said, but it was all kept happy and light. When I came back they told me that she'd been diagnosed with cancer. It was weird because they'd all already freaked out about it and cried and were now over that stage of it. But I wasn't. It freaked me out, but I felt like a retard crying about it now that they were all matter of fact about it. I felt like I missed out on being able to be upset about it because they'd known about it before me. Probably dumb for me to feel this way, but I did. I've always had an issue with crying. It embarrasses me, even when it's appropriate and I've always suppressed it as much as possible throughout my life. I probably cry the most when I'm angry or frustrated. That's different somehow. It's crying when I'm sad about something that I suppress.

Anyhow, even after the cancer was diagnosed my mom was still very slow about dealing with it. In all honesty, the time-line of how everything went down has gotten a bit fuzzy in my mind, so I might mix up the order in which stuff happened.

It seemed like when she went in to the hospital they didn't seem to take her cancer that seriously, maybe because my mom didn't. It was so unreal to her that she could be really ill. We knew she had a tumor on her back that had literally put so much pressure on her spine that it'd fractured in two different places (no wonder her back hurt). And one day she was like, "huh, I have this weird bump on the back of my head, I don't remember bumping my head". She'd had it for a while and not told us about it. She also started losing control of her legs and she didn't tell us. She then started getting incontinent and again suppressed this from us. I swear it was like if she didn't confront what was going on she hoped it would just all go away. At one point we freaked when we realized that all this stuff was going on with her and we forced her to go to the hospital. It took all 5 of her children to get her to stay and get a CT scan (they terrified her and were also excruciating for her to get due to her back). We finally got a good doc who took one look at the scan and checked her in. She had stage 4 cancer. Of course they never told us that till about a week before she died.

My mom had lymphoma, which is a very aggressive cancer and requires fast treatment. I don't think my mom started her radiation treatment till February or something.

One of the issues that required us making her go to the ER and wait for the CT scan was that she didn't have insurance. Like I said, my parents didn't like doctors and I think my mom thought it would be asking to get sick if they had insurance (stupid, I know). And the docs didn't have that much interest in her because she didn't have fucking insurance. What was in it for them?

Anyhow, she started her radiation and it helped her so much. She felt so much better. But she still had to get the chemo. She got her first chemo treatment and developed congestive heart failure, apparently as a reaction to one of the drugs in her chemo treatment. This was another thing where my mom is at home all puffed up and feeling like shit and she doesn't bother to tell the docs. We again made her check back in to the hospital and that is when she was diagnosed with congestive heart failure.

So the docs started treating her for this. In the meantime she had other stuff going on. The tumor on her back was putting pressure on her kidneys and she was literally filling up with poisons that were not draining.

Through all this I was teaching and didn't have anyone to cover my classes so I could help my mom (and I was pregs with Liam). But my sister, who was the Dean for elementary and below would have me cover the one math class she ran and would go in to help my mom. She would always complain about how hard it was (which it was, but I would've done it in a heartbeat) and it made me so pissed. I would've traded places with her any day. She never would cover my class though to let me go while she worked. Here I was stuck teaching and feeling useless. (just in case any of my sisters ever read this, there are definitely no hard feelings about this anymore...but I did wish I could've helped more at the time)

My older sisters had had a trip to Guatemala planned for the spring of 2007 and my mom made them go. She was still in the hospital trying to recover from her congestive heart failure and trying to get well enough to get her next chemo treatment. So as it was spring break I was finally able to go and be with her.

There was one day that was particularly awful. She needed to get another CT scan. And we're talking one that took at least 2 hours. I wasn't going to leave her till she got it as I've said before they terrified her. As she needed to have a doctor go with her to administer extra morphine in the event that it was needed it took forever. We finally got a doc to go with us. They'd given her some sort of anti-anxiety drug to help her with the claustrophobic-ness. It made her completely insane. She was seeing things, handing me imaginary objects, talking to people who weren't there. It was awful. In addition to all that, she was in so much pain. The only way she could be even remotely comfortable was on an incline, but to get the test they had to put her on a gurney and take her to another building. They then left her on the gurney for a good hour or more waiting for the test. I had to shove my purse under her legs to prop them up to try and relieve some of the pressure (remember she was also insanely swollen from her kidneys not draining properly). Anyhow, it took the entire day. I think it was almost 9pm by the time I was finally able to go home. The next day I found that the CT was useless as she'd moved to0 much and my mom didn't even remember that I'd been there.

So, through all this, the docs had never given us any indication that she might not make it. My mom was optimistic. She KNEW she would get better. She never had any intention of dying and was terrified of dying.

So at this point, my mom is still trying to get well enough to get her 2nd chemo treatment. She now has stints in her sides to help drain all the fluids from her body but they still aren't draining properly. One Friday the docs tell us that they are going to check her out of the hospital that day. Ok, now realize that my mom's health had deteriorated to the point that she can't walk at all, she has a catheter and stints sticking out of both sides of her back. It takes 3 nurses to move her into her wheelchair. And she is dying of cancer. And they are checking her out of the hospital. Needless to say we flipped and told them there was no way in hell we were bringing her home.

The next day we're suddenly being told that she has stage 4 cancer (something we could never get them to tell us until then) and that if she wasn't gotten up and moving around and better fast she was going to die. We were told to find out what her wishes were if she needed to be resuscitated, etc. What the fuck?!?! Literally the day before they were going to check her out of the hospital. Needless to say my mom freaked when the doctor asked her what her wishes were. She was in no way shape or form ready or willing to die and wasn't even willing to think about it.
It was awful. Within a couple days she was put in critical care and maybe like one day after that she was in the ICU on life support. I say again, WTF? I can't drive by that hospital without fuming. It was the hospital I was born in...but I swear I will never step foot in it again.

So anyhow, my mom was now on life-support. She was getting dialysis and was on like every possible blood pressure med to attempt to keep it somewhat regulated. Her heart rate was also all over the place. We knew she was terrified of dying and REALLY REALLY did not want to go. My dad had already given up. He decided it was over and he was already ready to pull the life-support. We were now stuck with figuring out what to do. Even if she were to pull through and be able to start breathing on her own again, the doctors had told us she'd likely never walk again, would be incontinent for the rest of her life and likely have tons of other issues. IF she pulled through. Then the doctors told us that the tumor on her head had penetrated her brain and she appeared to now be brain-dead. So we decided to pull the life-support.

I couldn't make that decision. I had to make everyone else decide. The docs told us that if we took her off the dialysis she'd go very quickly. She didn't. So they said if we took her off her blood pressure drugs it'd be very fast. So we took her off that...we all hung around and she still didn't go. My nephew's graduation was that night and we all decided that our mom would want us to go to it and be there for him. So we all went. My mom finally went that night in the middle of the night.

I regret pulling the life support as I always think about how long she held on. What if she was telling us, "No" and she didn't want to go and she was willing to keep fighting. We just went ahead anyway. Why did she hang on so much longer than the docs kept saying she would?

It's amazing the amount of regrets I have. I regret not hugging her more. I regret not spending every waking minute with her down at the hospital. I regret not making her go to the doctor right away when she first got the "flu". I regret not giving her one last hug before she died. In the ICU they had this crazy blanket full of air over her body trying to keep her body temp up and I regret not asking them to turn it off so I could give her one last hug.

It's incredible how devastating her death has been for me. I miss her every day. So often I want to call her or tell her something. That's the worst. Not being able to tell her something I want her to know. I wish I could show Liam off to her. It makes me so sad that she'll never know him and be proud of him. And he'll never know her. I really want to hug her again.

There have been rough nights with the baby where all I want to do is call my mom and tell her about it...or those times when Chris and I get into a bad fight and I need to tell her about it...and she's not there.

I miss my mom.

My Village Green POD (s)

2008-06-27T11:05:00.001-07:00

My Feet
What I see when I go outside

What I feed my son (this time it's a combo of oatmeal, flax meal, coconut milk and pear juice)
How he looks when he's done eating...

Father's Day

2008-06-27T09:58:00.000-07:00

Well, I didn't ever do my post for Father's Day. I think we had a great Father's Day. Of course I failed to take any pictures, arg....so I can't post them.

Father's Day started off with me making my hubby breakfast. Keep in mind that we most often have cereal for breakfast because the hubby and I are too lazy/tired to actually make anything else. So I made the hubby apple smoked bacon, eggs, and apple cinnamon crepes (yum). I also made him French pressed coffee and a couple mimosas. Yum, yum. Did I mention that all I ate were a couple pieces of bacon. And that I was sick all Father's Day.

Anyhow, we were supposed to go on a hike in the morning but I was sick and so we decided not to go. In the afternoon we went over to my brother's house for a bbq. We had nummy carne asada tacos and beer. We played horse shoes and combated some sort of little biting fly. It was a lot of fun. Hot, but fun.

I'm pretty sure we did something else when we got home, but I don't remember what anymore. Friggin motherhood has drained me of all my braincells.

Since I don't have a picture of Father's Day, here's one of my favorite pics of Chris and Liam. I miss how small Liam was in this picture. He's so huge now.

Me

2008-06-26T20:35:00.000-07:00

I am short.

I am stubborn and opinionated.

I love food, especially fat filled carbs, like pizza.

I love wine and drink it far too often.

I'm insecure.

I miss my mom so much that it makes me cry often.

I don't like to cry.

I have bad skin.

I love the color green and once painted my bedroom grass green.

I'm amazed my husband can handle my craziness.

I adore my baby.

I'm afraid of the dark.

I like to sleep. A lot.

I don't sleep.

I worry what kind of mom I will be when my son is older.

I draw and paint.

I feel like the pictures I've made that are good are just flukes.

I wish I could live in the sea.

I remember some of my past lives.

I don't feel like I have a best friend anymore.

I want to call my mom.

I wish I could afford $200 jean shorts.

I want to move to Ireland.

I am silly.

I am a horrible singer.

I wish I could be a singer professionally.

I love to dance.

I own two cats that I love but hate.

I've learned to live in harmony with the ants in my house.

I am addicted to my email.

I burn candles.

I don't like sweet things and I hate soda.

I love love love dark chocolate.

I'm going to attempt to make my first pina colada right now.

I sometimes think I am beautiful and sometimes I think I am ugly.

My Village Green POD (s)

2008-06-26T19:41:00.000-07:00

Mother's Day

2008-06-09T15:30:00.000-07:00

I know this is kind of late, but since I figured I put a post up about Father's Day, it wouldn't be fair to neglect the recent Mother's Day.

We need to start with a tiny bit of history for this one. Last year was a different sort of Mother's Day for me. A few weeks beforehand I'd been trying to figure out what to get my mom for Mother's Day. I was about to find out what the sex of my baby was so I was thinking getting her a DVD of the ultrasound would be a great present. She didn't really want anything for Mother's Day, but I knew she'd love being able to see the ultrasound. Turns out my planning wasn't necessary as she passed away just before the ultrasound and just before Mother's day. It was a sudden and unexpected turn of events for us.

We spent last Mother's day at Gladstones in Malibu, our mom's favorite place to go for her birthday. We got an extra bloody mary and brought it down to the beach. We then poured her ashes in the ocean along with some roses and the bloody mary (since she always loved them). It was a very weird Mother's Day for all of us.

Here's a pic of me and my siblings that day. It's funny because I felt like I was showing so much in this pic...But when I look back on it, it hardly even looks like I'm pregs compared to how enormous my tummy got later on.

So, fast-forward to this year's Mother's Day. This was my first Mother's Day as a mommy and my first Mother's Day without my mom. I know technically last year was the first without my mom, but it didn't feel like it.

It was strange and I really missed my mom. We went to the LA arboretum as that is our tradition, but it was odd to not have to buy a Mother's Day card, or worry about a gift or anything. And it was of course sad. I've not touched on the issue of my mom's passing away really in this blog, but some day I might. It's a tender area for me and really there isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss her. Especially now that I'm a mommy myself.

Anyhow, all in all it was a good Mother's day. My hubby made me breakfast in bed and then we all hung out together till we went to the arboretum. It was cold in the morning so like a dork I wore boots, jeans and t-shirt, which I much regretted after walking around for a little while. It was so hot! And when you have a baby you are carrying a ton, it gets even hotter.

Anyhow...

Amber Teething Necklace and Sophie the Giraffe

2008-06-06T11:31:00.000-07:00

So, we got our teething necklace and Sophie the Giraffe in the mail last Saturday. Liam has been wearing the necklace non-stop since then. I'd post a picture of him wearing it...but he's covered in a rash right now. I'll have to wait till he's back to looking like my son and then I'll post a pic.

It's been a bit hard to tell if the necklace has done much of anything. We put in on on Saturday and he seemed to still be a fuss-butt, but he did start letting other people hold him (other than me), coincidence? Even on Sunday he let tons of other people hold him. He hasn't done that in a long time.

On Monday I took him to the doctor to make sure his fussiness was just from teething and not due to an earache or something else. It turns out his ears are perfect, but he did have some sort of virus and had spots on his throat, equating to a really bad sore throat. He then ran a fever from Tuesday till last night. He's now fever free, for now, but is covered in a rash.

So, all the above is to say, I don't think a review on the teething necklace would be fair to give right now.

As for the $20 Sophie the Giraffe...what a waste of money. I must say I was a bit disappointed when I got it. I imagined it would be a solid rubber giraffe. Instead it's actually a hollow squeak toy, which Liam hates. It's made of natural rubber, but it stinks to high heaven. I can't stand the smell of it and I don't think Liam can either. I've been trying to make him play with his tiny little $20 giraffe all week. All he will do is kick it or throw it as far from him as possible. So...not a good investment on my part. Maybe the next baby will like it more. Dork that I am, I also bought a "Gnon" which was another toy made by the same French company that made Sophie. Liam hates that one even more. It's also a squeak toy and it makes one seriously weird squeak noise. I think it actually scares Liam.

I did want to put a plug in for the lady I bought the amber teething necklace from. I bought it from a lady on Etsy. She sells them for a really great price with $1.00 shipping! She also shipped it the same day I ordered it. It was easy, fast, and much cheaper than I'd seen elsewhere on the net. So if you are looking for an amber teething necklace, get it here:

InspiredByFinn

I didn't win...

2008-06-06T08:18:00.001-07:00

Well, I played. I got them all right, in the end, but 2 of them. The cotton fiber and the DVD. I re-guessed after it didn't matter and got them right. But I didn't win. Oh well, it was fun anyhow.

Teething Hell

2008-05-30T14:58:00.000-07:00

Oh my lordy. Teething. Something every parent will go through with every child. It might not be that bad, or it might be awful.

In my case, it's awful. Liam was once a "perfect" baby. He has always been a fairly happy and content baby. There have been difficult times, of course, but for the most part he's been such a good baby. He started sleeping through the night around 3 months or so. It was awesome. Some mornings he'd sleep till like 8am!

Hahahahahahahahahaha....oh, that has all long since passed. We co-sleep now, and Liam is up every hour or so. He finally got his first two teeth about a month ago and it got a bit better. But now the next teeth are coming in (well, or moving at least, who knows when they'll actually cut through).

This second round is even worse than the first one. They are his two front upper teeth. He won't even let me touch his upper lip, let alone see the gums. I've had him on motrin, in addition to Hyland's teething tablets. He's got practically every teether I could find. He has those mesh bags that I put cold fruit in, etc.

But there have been times where, no matter how chock full of drugs he has been and no matter what I did to distract him or console him, he still screamed. You know those days where by the end of if, you just want to cry, too.

It got so bad that I went ahead and ordered an amber teething necklace (something about the oils going into his skin is supposed to help...something like that) and I ordered a Sophie the Giraffe. Sophie is this $20 little rubber giraffe that's apparently been around for like 50 years in France. It's supposed to be a great teether. It's made from natural rubber and painted with food-grade paints, so it's safe to chew on.

I have yet to get these things in the mail, but when I do I'll tell you all whether they were worth the money I shelled out for them.

Don't forget that all this crankiness and pain is also accompanied by extreme drool action...and the need to chew on everything the baby can get his hands on. Liam's been teething since he was about 3.5 months, but it wasn't till these last two teeth started coming in that the drooling really kicked into high gear. There is nothing like have a giant stream of spit smeared all over your face by your loving baby. Or in your hair. He's like a saliva hose...

It's really not fair what little babies have to go through in the first year of their life. First they are shoved through a ridiculously small canal over a period of hours. They are taken from their warm, dark (a bit cramped, but nice and snuggly) home into the cold bright world. The sounds are loud and un-muffled. They are all wobbly. They can't even hold their heads up. Then they have to poop and pee in a diaper which is stuck to their bodies. They suddenly have to work for their food. Over time they finally get enough muscle strength to hold their heads up, and then sit up and roll over. Eventually they learn to crawl, or they don't and go straight to walking. In the meantime, they have to contend with gas, colic, constipation, diarrhea, earaches, and the lovely teething, which could go on for a couple years. The poor things....

Thankfully, yesterday was better than the day before. Teething certainly has it's ups and downs, but hopefully Liam's next two teeth will be here soon and he'll get a little break.

Till next time...

Tali's impossible contest

2008-05-29T19:32:00.000-07:00

Okay, so everyone MUST play Tali's contest and give me their prizes if they win...Seeing's how I don't think I will win... but I'm playing anyhow, cuz it's fun. Alright now, play, Bitches!

http://chemgeek.net/misadventures/?p=356

The Green Mama - Part Three - Baby Food

2008-05-29T12:40:00.001-07:00

In addition to products I use on my baby's skin, I of course have always cared about what went into his tummy.

I always intended on breastfeeding my children. After about 5 days of trying with Liam I was completely ready to give up. My nipples were cracked and bleeding, it was excruciating. I couldn't deal with it (on top of being extremely sore, tired, hormonal, etc). We'd been taking Liam in to the doctor's office quite a bit as he was jaundiced and had lost quite a bit of weight. He was doing much better weight-wise and the nurse practitioner was ready to let us go when she asked how everything else was going. I turned into a puddle...I couldn't stop myself from crying (damn hormones and lack of sleep!) She helped me out and found what was wrong with our latch. It took me a few weeks to heal up, but oh my god she was my savior! I was so glad she helped me as I know I would have felt guilty for giving up after only 5 days. Hell, my sister-in-law had lasted 6 weeks with her twins and that was with like 3 really bad breast infections. I figured if I couldn't last that long I was a wimp.

I've continued to BF my little guy for the past almost 8 months. I never thought I'd BF this long. I thought I'd make it to 6 months maybe, but I thought that was stretching it. I don't see any reason why we'd stop any time soon. I just can't justify putting him on formula just so I could have a little more freedom (if I was working I think it would be entirely different, but I'm not).

Of course along with breastfeeding, comes starting the baby on solids. I was good and waited till he was 6 months to start on solids. I decided to skip the rice cereal as it's just junk food as far as I was concerned and super processed. I wanted to make all my own baby food. I started out with banana and then avocado. He LOVED it! I used the website www.wholesomebabyfood.com
to help me decide what to give him next and how to prepare it. It's been a lifesaver.

With starting the g's I also started an addiction to Whole Foods. I get all the fruit and veggies for Liam's food there, which make it easy to get organic. It's so easy to make your own baby food, I wish more mommies would try to. Just making a butternut squash gives you a ton of food and it takes minimal effort. I always keep a fresh stash for a few days and freeze the rest in ice cube trays. Easy as pie.

I forgot to mention the argument I had with our new pediatrician at my son's 6 month appointment. So we went in and I'd already decided I wasn't going to give Liam rice cereal. In fact, our previous pediatrician had told us to just skip it, that he didn't need it and we could just go right in on fruits and veggies. (I loved my previous ped, but had to switch for insurance reasons.) So, we started to discuss starting him on solids and she told us to give him rice cereal. I told her I didn't want to and explained why. She told me he needed the extra iron (as it's iron fortified). I asked her for an alternative option, what food could I make him to give him the extra iron so I wouldn't have to give him the constipating processed crap? She was like a broken record, "just give him rice cereal. just give him rice cereal. just give him rice cereal." She couldn't get her wits wrapped around the fact that I wasn't going to give it to him, but I'd willingly give him anything I could make him myself. We ended at a draw...and he didn't get the rice cereal...

Later on, I did find some organic rice cereal at Whole Foods with probiotics. I decided to give it a try. It gave Liam (who seems to have a tummy of steel for the most part) a horrible stomachache. That was the one and only time he was ever given that damn rice cereal. I'm trying to give him as much iron filled veggies he's allowed to have at his age as possible before his 9 month appointment. We will see what they say!

So, I guess that winds down my current blab. It's late at night and I'm tired. I have other stuff to talk about, but that will have to wait till tomorrow...

The Green Mama - Part Two - Diapers

2008-05-29T12:22:00.000-07:00

Prior to my son being born my husband had been interested in EC (Elimination Communication). I told him he was off his rocker and there was no way I'd been able to deal with something like that with a newborn. I was going to count myself lucky if I was still alive by the end of the first month. My hubby also wanted to cloth diaper. I was more willing to do this, but not at first. I told him that I'd do it after a few months when everything calmed down and I'd gotten the hang of being a mommy. In the meantime we'd use disposables.

Around 5 months or so, my son grew out of the last size Pampers makes the Swaddlers in. The next thing they made were cruisers. Well, I hated them. At the same time I bought those I also bought Nature Baby Care diapers. I also didn't like these too much. They were much more eco-friendly (being chlorine free and partially biodegradable) but it was like putting paper diapers on my son.

I'd gotten a sample of Seventh Generation diapers before the baby was born and they felt soft and seemed the closest to the Swaddlers, but were also chlorine free. When you've been using disposable diapers for 5 months you start to really realize the environmental impact just the diapers you are using has. It's disgusting. So, as someone who's not a complete ass I started feeling guilty and wanted to at least use something a little better.

So, I headed off to my local Whole Foods to buy some Seventh Generation diapers. Lo and Behold! What caught my eye?!! gDiapers...I read the outside of the box and was hooked. This was WAY better than stupid Seventh Generation diapers and much better for the environment. I bought a starter kit and went back a couple days later to get some refills. For those of you who don't know what g's are, they are a cloth cover with a completely biodegradable and flushable insert. You can flush the insert, or compost it even (the pees ones)! You can of course also just toss it in the trash, but most people know how hard it is for things to decompose in a landfill where the garbage doesn't have access to oxygen and the elements to help the process along. You can even use cloth in the g covers. They work extremely well and as a bonus are super cute.
Now, being a gDiaper-er opens up a whole new world of eco-friendliness. You of course have to join the gDiaper yahoo group and with that you are now part of a massive group of amazing women who spread their great ideas on how to be green.

Around the same time I switched diapers my son had developed a bad case of eczema on his legs, bum, back and arms. I started eliminating things with fragrance and chemicals. Out went the Dreft detergent...out went the Gerber baby wash...out went the Burt's Bees lotion, etc. I tried all sorts of soaps, getting more and more natural as I went. I finally settled on Little Twig organic unscented baby wash. Just that alone took care of most of the eczema. I also started using ShiKai's Borage Dry Skin Therapy for children. That took care of it 100%. Until I used stupid Hawaiian Tropics baby sunblock on Liam. I finally caved and spend $18 on a tiny tube of California Baby unscented sunscreen.

The Green Mama - Part One - The Beginning

2008-05-29T11:58:00.000-07:00

So how does one become one of those crazy "green" people? How do they come about? Were they raised by hippy parents? Did they smoke too much pot? Are they just super good people that really care about the environment?

Here is my tale of how I have started to be become one of those people. Really this is mostly mindless babbling about myself...but I at least compartmentalized it so it wouldn't be too overwhelming for anyone who might decide to read it...

I've never been a particularly eco-friendly person. I haven't cared all that much about global warming, I used paper towels to my heart's content. I've thrown away things that easily could have been made into something else...I've ceaselessly run the water in my shower to make sure it was extra hot before I even got in it, etc. I have at least routinely recycled for pretty much my whole life.

In addition to not be eco-friendly I've never given too much thought to what I ate. I'll admit, I've had an addiction to crap foods like top ramen and kraft mac and cheese. I've eaten a cheese danish and coffee for breakfast on more than one occasion...somewhere in all this, though, I've been pretty good about taking vitamins. I think my love for crap food comes from having grown up eating super healthy food.

A traditional breakfast when I was growing up might have consisted of whole grains topped with fresh honey (we had a giant tub from my mom's friend who owned a honey bee farm) butter and cream. Or eggs and bacon, etc. When we had peanut butter and jelly, it wasn't Jiffy...it was Laura Scudder, with the chunks. You know that peanut butter you can hardly get out of the jar (that's after you mixed it to get all the oils from sitting right on top) let alone spread it on your super whole wheat bread. My mom always cooked home-cooked meals (that part I loved) and we never had things like cereal or pop tarts or anything of the kind in our house. Sugar was on a lock down...my dad would literally give us (my little sister and me) Halloween night to eat as much of our candy as we could and then it went into the trash (silly as we ALWAYS kept a stash hidden somewhere). (Did I mention this is Los Angeles I grew up in?)

Now you might have not been able to find sugar in our house, but vitamins were EVERYWHERE. By the time I was 2 I think I'd overdosed twice on Niacin...somehow the first time I got into the vitamins ate half the bottle didn't teach my dad to put them somewhere I couldn't reach...My little sister and I would eat Vitamin C (not the chewables) like they were candy. We also loved Vitamin E and lecithin. Another vitamin we'd chew up was one called Core Level Health Reserve. This was essentially a green multivitamin. Oh how we loved chewing those up. I don't even mind the taste of them now as an adult.

Anyhow, as I became a teen, being able to access and buy with my own money things like soda, chocolate, etc. is what started my downfall on the quality of food I enjoyed. Now this isn't to say I didn't enjoy a gourmet meal. Trust me, I did. I love cooking and I love being cooked for. I just also loved junk food.

So, fast forward to more recent times. I recently had a baby and it's amazing how something like that can completely change your perspective on health and the environment.

It was always important to me to have a natural birth. I didn't want any drugs--not for me, but for my baby. I knew anything going into me would also be going into him. And I figured that women have been popping out babies for thousands of years and the majority of that was without any form of drug. So, why couldn't I? It was incredibly hard and excruciating, but I did it and I'd do it again any day.

The day my son was born was the beginning of: The Eco-Friendly Mama. I started noticing the ingredients in everything. From sunscreen to shampoo, to the clothes I was buying. It opened up a whole new perspective for me.

Win a Free Ergo!!

2008-05-29T07:47:00.000-07:00

Win a Free Ergo Baby Carrier from Along for the Ride

There Will Be Blood

2008-05-21T16:06:00.001-07:00

So, I'm one of those people who likes cheesy happy movies. I won't say I love them, but I do prefer them. I like to come out of the movie being happy. While it's embarrassing to admit, I'll enjoy a good Mandy Moore movie any day. I just am lame like that.

Now, movies I LOVE on the other hand, are more like Little Miss Sunshine, Juno, Garden State, Napoleon Dynamite, etc. I also really enjoy a good indy flick like When Do We Eat (friggin hilarious), Wristcutters: A Love Story, The King of California, etc. As you noticed, those tend to remain mostly on the happy side of things.

I'm a chicken. I'm scared of the dark. I don't like to sleep alone. I don't like to go outside by myself at night. And I CAN'T stand horror flicks. The cheesier, the worse it is. I get nightmares. I'm like a little kid. In fact, one time a girl was telling me about a scene from the Grudge and just picturing it in my head gave me nightmares. I didn't even see the f-ing movie! Even silly ones, like Scream scare me. So, most recent horror flicks are not going to be found on my netflix cue.

Before I go on to the next category, I will tell you a little story. One day I wanted to watch Old School. I was in the mood for a silly comedy. Alas, my future BIL had taken it. So my then boyfriend told me I should watch this really great movie, Dancer in the Dark. I watched it. Holy crap. Not exactly in the Old School category. It was a great movie and belongs in the next category of movies. But if you've seen it, you'll know why I wanted to slap my boyfriend on the back side of his head after watching it. He did it again with There Will Be Blood...it's been 5 years and he still hasn't learned.

Alright, well in the the next category comes the amazing movies. Those movies that aren't particularly happy, but they are just great movies. They make you sit there and think about the movie long after it's over. Some movies that have been like that for me are The City of God, Crash, Pan's Labyrinth, Dancer in the Dark, etc. Other people might not feel the same way about them as I do, but I don't really give a flying rats butt. There Will Be Blood was one of those movies for me. I couldn't get it out of my head. This is just a phenomenal movie. The story is great, the acting is perfect, honestly every part about it is perfect. My heart was wrenched out when the little boy is hurt. I couldn't stop thinking about something like that happening to my son. The whole movie you see this person go from sort of normal, but driven, to completely evil and insane. In a way you could really see it happening.

And I guess that completes my random babbling about movies that I like.

I'm back....

2008-03-31T11:10:00.000-07:00

Okay, so it's been over 2 years. In that time I've started a new job as a teacher, gotten married, had a baby, quit my job, etc. It's been a fun two years. In that time I've also been able to see tons of fun stuff. I've realized that due to now being a stay at home mom of a 6 month old, my blog might veer off course a little into the land of babies and such. I guess we'll have to see what my blog ends up containing as the time goes by.

I think I'll talk about what artwork I've done in the last couple years. I used to do just acrylics. I'm not sure why, but I did. In the last few years I have thankfully introduced myself to oils. I've had so much fun doing them. Here are a couple a did awhile ago. Hopefully I will get some better pictures of these and some taken of the more recent ones. One of these is an oil pastel. I've also started doing ink drawings. I love doing them!

When I had my baby I noticed that he took particular interest in the oil pastel drawing. He used to look at it constantly and marvel at it. I'm assuming it was due to the bright colors and variation in the picture. This gave me an idea. I took a ton of different colored paper and patterned paper and I made a funky collage for the baby. I put it above his changing table for him to look at . And what do you know! He loved it. I think that instead of putting up giant pictures of monkeys or tractors (or whatever you decide to make your baby's theme) you should put something up that is genuinely stimulating. Maybe I'll start making proffessional ones and see if they sell. The one I made for Liam is bitchen.

Okay, well I can't restart my post without a little bit of info about all I've been up to last couple years. In early 2006 I quit my job as an Asst. Snr. VP at a massive court reporting agency (random, I know) and started teaching at a private school in Los Angeles. I have wanted to teach for so long, but due to finances I hadn't ever started. I was getting sick of my job as it had no real point to it (other than the money, of course) and so I started teaching 4th grade. It was so awesome. I loved all my students. Obviously it had it's tough points. But I survived them.

I got married in July of 2006. My wedding was amazingly perfect. It was hot, but beautiful. Nothing went wrong and it was so much fun.

We went to Palm Springs for a mini-honeymoon. We stayed at the Parker Hotel. http://www.theparkerpalmsprings.com/phototour.php This place was like walking through a giant piece of retro artwork. It was beautiful. And since we were two of the few crazies that would actually brave Palm Springs during the summer, we practically had it to ourselves. It was amazing.

In December of 2006 we went to Tahiti. All I can say is, "wow". It was phenomenal. Hot, humid, full of mosquitoes, but so incredibly beautiful. We drank champagne on the deck of our over-water bungalow, went snorkeling amongst the fishies and corral. We swam with sharks and sting rays, ate pineapple and coconuts...did what newly weds do... It was so perfect. Now if we could ever afford to go back, that'd be awesome.

In the spring of 2007 my mom passed away from cancer. That was and continues to be heart-wrenching. It's still pretty unreal to me and I never cease to hope that one day I'll wake up and realize that her death was just bad dream and be able to call her up and chat. Or give her a giant hug. She was an amazing person.

I was pregnant with our first baby when my mom passed away. I managed to contract appendicitis of all things when I was about 6 months pregnant. That was a bit scary, but it all turned out okay. Now I have a great war wound to show my son when he is older to go with the story.

My son, Liam Gladstone Nolan, was born October 5th, 2007 at 4:05am. He weighed 7lbs, 4 oz and was 19 inches long. I had him naturally at a birthing center in Irvine. Man, was that a lot of work. Oh, and it hurt a bit, too.

Now I'm a lucky SAHM. I get to hang out and play all day with my little 6 month old boy. I'm so madly in love with him. Honestly, I don't get how people could harm their children. I would literally die if anything happened to him.

Alright, so I think that's a basic update on my life. More to come on art!

I found my blog!!

2008-03-31T10:50:00.000-07:00

I finally found my blog again! It's been a crazy couple of years, but I'm back now and hopefully will have time to post some stuff!

The ARTery at the Lab

2006-02-23T10:34:00.000-08:00

The Lab

2930 Bristol Street

Costa Mesa, California 92626

Located at The LAB in Costa Mesa, The ARTery is at the heart of the urban resurgence of Southern California. The ARTery is dedicated to supporting emerging artists through their exhibitions. Each artist will be presented in a solo or group show that will last the duration of two weeks to one month. In addition to the show, each artist will be featured within the SoBeCa Newsletter (http://www.sobeca.net/) as well as promoted through The LAB's collaborative efforts to further support the artisan community. The ARTery will be open for the following hours during this next show: 11:30am – 3pm & 6pm – 9pm Sunday through Thursday. 11:30am – 3pm & 6pm – 10pm Friday and Saturday.

If you would like to submit work for the artery e-mail mailto:info@%20thelab.com

2006-02-21T20:32:00.000-08:00

I'd like to introduce you to Melanie Gillotte who is a local LA photographer and artist.

She's taken her photography to a whole new level, creating beautiful photographic tile work, decorative plates and much more. Additionally, she has also put her crafty skills to work to hand-make custom photo albums like you will find no-where else.

Each of her tiles and plates are hand-done with any photograph you desire. Melanie takes the image and transfers it directly on to the tile or plate (only the image is transferred-it's not decoupage). The image is then sealed in for the added safety to the picture. The tiles are roughed up to create a beautiful, rustic look and can be custom framed by a fellow artist she works with or can be hung on the wall by itself or stood in a small plate stand on a shelf.

I have found, in my experience and research of her products that they make amazing and memorable heartfelt gifts for loved ones when you want to get them something really meaningful.

You can find her website at www.photoculturist.com (currently under construction, but will be up in the next couple weeks).

For more info on how you can get your hands on her stuff, e-mail her at photoculturist@yahoo.com.

Upcoming Exhibitions

2006-02-19T21:01:00.000-08:00

Some exhibitions coming up that I can't wait to see:

LACMA - Glass: Material Matters (spring)

MOCA - Lorna Simpson (spring)

PMCA - R. Kenton Nelson: Prose and Cons/Rhyme and Reason (now)

The Getty - The Medieval Bookshelf: From Romance to Astronomy (now through early spring)

Mo on art

2006-02-19T20:19:00.000-08:00

While visiting the Hesse exhibition at the Portland Art Museum I thought it would be cool to start my own blog.

I am an artist myself and as an artist I've come to realize that artists are incredibly individual people. Their views on aesthetics and art vary vastly and I personally really enjoy seeing and understanding each artist's invidivduality and sense of style.

I thought it would be a great idea to have a blog where I could share my views and experiences on the various artworks, hole-in-the-wall places (boutique art stores and such), exhibitions, etc. that I find in my travels and life. I hope you enjoy and find them useful!